God’s Command and the Cat Chow Challenge

It started out like any normal trip to the grocery store.  I picked out what I needed – and some things I didn’t – and started scanning for the smallest check-out line.  I saw a cashier standing, waiting for someone to come through her check-out and celebrated my good luck at not having to wait.  I didn’t realize I was walking right up to a God encounter.  The cashier was young – probably in her 20’s – but what hit me most was her facial expression.  I didn’t know if it was sadness or depression or just acute apathy.  But it was devoid of any happiness.  I also noticed that as I smiled at her and said hello, she acknowledged that she heard me but didn’t smile back or talk.  In fact, she didn’t smile back or talk during the whole transaction.  I didn’t sense that she was hostile or arrogant or anything like that.  I sensed that she was beat or worn down somehow.  I mentally shrugged my shoulders and felt sympathy that people end up in that state, but after all, what could I do about it?  She would hardly even look at me.  I told her to have a great day and started to leave, anxious to get on with my own business.

It had become about my fear of rejection and ridicule.

I had taken no more than 3 steps when it hit me: “Go back and tell her God loves her.”  Thoughts started running wildly through my head. “What?!?  What do you mean?  Are you serious?  She will think I am a Bible-thumping idiot.”  I decided to write it off as me hearing and thinking so much about revival lately that it must have just been on my mind at that moment. I kept walking away.  But God wasn’t letting me off the hook.  It kept resonating in my head:  “Go back and tell her God loves her, even if she doesn’t know it right now.”  Oh great – now it is an even longer message.  A little fear started to kick in.  What if this really was something I was supposed to do?  I didn’t want to go and make her mad.  I didn’t want to come off as some over-religious zealot.  I really, really did not want to do this.  What would she and the other people in line think of me?  All of a sudden, it had become about my fear of rejection and of being ridiculed much more than about whether I believed it was God telling me to do it.  I decided to just keep on walking.  It probably wasn’t that big of a deal anyhow, right? 

I learned an aspect of God I had never known before.

I learned an aspect of God I had never known before.  He uses guilt trips.  Not in a manipulative way, but in a “I am absolutely going to convict you that you are doing the wrong thing” sort of way.  As I continued to walk out of the store and into the parking lot, every step got slower and heavier.  My conscience got heavier, too.  The urging got stronger.  Then the guilt trip came:  “What if you are the only person in her life that ever tells her this?  What if her eternal destination depends on her hearing this today?  What harm could possibly happen if you are wrong, and you tell her anyhow?”  Guilt.  Really, really strong guilt.  I stopped dead in my tracks in the parking lot.  I wish I could have told you I went, right back in, marched up to her, and told her that I felt led to tell her God loves her today.  I did not.  I just stopped, unsure what to do next and unable to move.

In the moment I had prayed for, I am standing frozen in the parking lot.

The very “broken human” part of this is that I had been struggling with why I felt like I never clearly heard the voice of God.  I had actually been praying to hear Him clearly so that I would know what to listen to.  I had been afraid that I wouldn’t recognize the voice of God when it came to me.  I had heard people, who I know are sincerely walking with God, tell me of times that they felt led to buy some groceries for someone, or visit a friend who turned out to have fallen sick and needed help.  They shared moments of divine, clear inspiration from God.  I had never had that experience and it was bugging me.  I wondered why God would not talk to me like that.  What was wrong?  Was I not walking with Him closely enough?  Did I not have enough faith?  So here, in the moment I had prayed for, when I am clearly getting a message from God, I am standing frozen in the parking lot.  It is a miracle that God uses us or interacts with us at all!  When He says He is long-suffering, He means it.

I decided to be like Gideon with his fleece.

I decided that maybe, just maybe, I could pretend that I forgot something, go back through her check-out stand again, and see what happens.  Then it dawned on me that I had forgotten something – the cat food that was one of the reasons I had come in the first place.  I needed Cat Chow and I had walked out without it.  Right then, the Cat Chow Challenge was hatched.  I suddenly remembered the story of another person who had heard the voice of God, but wasn’t sure if it was real or not.  I thought about how he didn’t want to do what God asked him either, and so he came up with a test to see if God was serious.  I decided to be like Gideon with his fleece.

God participated in the test and gave Gideon the answers and confidence he needed.

The story of Gideon can be found in chapters 6 and 7 of the book of Judges.  He was one of the twelve judges that God called over Israel before the time of David and the kings.  Gideon was hiding out from the Midianites who were seeking to destroy the Israelites when God gave him a message.  God told Gideon to save Israel from the Midianites.  Gideon reacted much like I did in the grocery store, only probably more politely.  He said, “Pardon me, Lord”.  In fact, he said it a couple of times as he asked, “Really? Are you serious?”  God insisted that He was, and Gideon finally asked for a sign to show him God meant it.  God told him to prepare a sacrifice and God took up the offering in a miraculous display of fire coming out of the rock of the altar.  Gideon was pretty convinced, so he went out to obey God.  His first attempt was to sneak out at night and destroy the pagan altar of the Midianites, replacing it with an altar and sacrifice to God.  It was not a very brave show of God’s might and glory, and it earned Gideon some death threats, and caused the Midianites to gather their forces and allies for battle.  Gideon went back to the Lord in prayer, and in doubt and fear.  He offered God the fleece test.  He said he was going to lay out a fleece overnight, and if the fleece was wet with dew, but the ground was dry, he would know that God really was going to let him defeat the enemy.  In the morning, the fleece was soaking wet and the ground was dry.  What I love about the humanness of Gideon was he asked for another test.  This time, it was a dry fleece and wet ground.  And what I love even more about God is that God participated in the test and gave Gideon the answers and the confidence he needed, rather than walking away from Gideon in disgust over his lack of faith.  Gideon goes on in chapter 7 to conquer the combined forces of Israel’s enemies, not with an army of thousands, but with an army of only 300.  God was glorified, Gideon was blessed, and I got a plan.

Moments of doubt and fear are about trusting God whether it involves wars or simple words.

Okay, so I wasn’t facing an army.  I was facing saying one little sentence to a grocery store clerk.  But moments of fear and doubt are about trusting God whether it involves wars or simple words.  I figured that if God could help out Gideon, He could help me out, too.  I knew that my specific brand of Cat Chow had been impossible to find in the stores for many months.  I had been having to order it.  So I prayed to God that if I went in and there was Cat Chow, I would know I needed to talk to the clerk.  I walked over to the cat food section and guess what?  There was Cat Chow.  My heart sunk a little – until I realized that it wasn’t the right sized bag.  I actually started to walk away again, but heard clearly in my mind, “You wanted Cat Chow, and you have Cat Chow, so go talk to her.”  I sheepishly and nervously grabbed the cat food and went to the checkout stand. 

I knew that she really did need to hear that message in that moment.

As the clerk rang up my purchase, I joked about how I hated when I forgot something and how my cats would have been unhappy.  She nodded but didn’t smile, talk, or make eye contact.  Finally, I dived in.  I said, “I have honestly never done this before and I don’t know why I need to do this today.  I don’t know if you already know this or not, but I really feel like I have to tell you today that God loves you, even if you don’t know it.”  I felt like an exposed idiot.  She looked up at me and finally made eye contact.  Then she said “Thank you.  I just . . .”  She never finished the sentence.  I sensed that there was something deep and difficult going on in her, but it is a story I will never know.  I paused but she didn’t finish and looked away.  I said, “Look, I don’t know what is going on and I don’t know why I had to tell you that, but I did, and it is real.”  She made eye contact again and gave me a genuine smile as she said warmly, “Thank you”.  I knew then that she really did need to hear that message at that moment.  I smiled, wished her a blessed day, and walked away, this time with ease. 

Next time, I pray I can answer without walking away or requiring a sign.

There was no fiery altar or dewy fleece.  There was only me, a clerk, and some Cat Chow.  I will never know this side of heaven why her, why that message, and what God was going to do with it.  I don’t even know if she went home from work that night shaking her head about the crazy Jesus freak she had go through her line.  But what I do know is what my part of the story was.  God knew I wanted to hear His voice.  He knew I had a fear of sharing my faith in Him with complete strangers one-on-one and face-to-face.  He knew that sometimes my fear of rejection and ridicule was stronger than my desire to serve Him in the moment.  And He also knew how to arrange an encounter to work me through all of that.  Not only did He teach me a lesson in trusting Him, He let me know what it feels like when He is undeniably telling me to do something – the very thing I had been worrying over and praying for.  The next time, it may be something closer to a war, or it may just be another sentence, but I pray that I can answer without walking away and requiring a sign.

I hope today’s message touched your heart, increased your understanding, and encouraged you.  Praying the peace and comfort of Christ Jesus on your life.